Every year.... Like its a surprise

So, for all of those not living in Johannesburg you luckily haven't been subjected to the continuous bitching of Jo-Burgs about the weather the past few days (Unless your on twitter where you, like me, may have un-followed a few people recently).  I have a few things to say about this

First and foremost.  Its winter. It gets cold. Shocked? I know! It only happens every year around this time. Buy a heater and a cute jacket and drink a cup full of STFU, this is something you cannot change. 


Secondly, there is always a COLD spell in Winter. It is cold all the time but at some point it gets colder and snow is expected.  Once again. STFU! This happens every year it really should not be a huge surprise by now.  


Just be happy this isn't happening in Jozi:

You know what is surprising?  When it rains fish.  You can talk all you want it it rains fish.  


Otherwise, EVERYONE knows its cold, there is no need to inform other people about it like it is some huge surprise.  

Oppikoppi: Unknown Brother

A friend of mine said to me "You haven't lived till you have been to an Oppi dude" - Right there and then I decided that after wanting to go for the 5yrs that I have lived in South Africa that 2011 was the year.... I am going to OPPIKOPPI!


I was armed with the following 'insider scoop" from previous Oppikoppi goes, make sure you take a. Water b. Wet Wipes c. Blankets (it gets VERY cold) d. A sense of humour
Armed with all the above and a monsterous planning session it was decided - I was going to Oppi and I was taking my sibling unit with me and my "almost sisters" the Starfritzls.  Zimbabweans were taking over Oppikoppi! 


The Starfritzls had driven to Oppikoppi from Zimbabwe with our camping supplies, tent, food, vodka you know the necessities on the Thursday and my sibling unit who had arrived in Johannesburg 3 days earlier and myself drove from Jozi to Oppikoppi - possibly one of the smartest ideas I have ever had to come a day later as the Starfritzls had set up camp by the time we arrived on Friday morning.  
So there we were 5 girls camping in District 9 between two campsites called "Fokken Prawn" and "Bulletproof Marchmallows" - Good god what had we got ourselves into.




When people say "Oppikoppi is dusty" dont think "Well my car is also dusty after a week without a wash" instead think "I AM GOING TO COUGH UP MUD FOR THE NEXT WEEK! IF NOT DIE FROM THE BLACK LUNG!" - I have never in my life experienced dust like there was at Oppikoppi - Our campsite which was conveniently just off the main drag "Boom Straat" was covered in dust in hours, my poor little car changed colour from green to dirty dust red in the space of 3 hours! (The Wet Wipes come in handy here)


The toilets/showers are disgusting and being the snobs we starfish are we resorted to either driving to Northam during the day, "Holding it" or waiting till night fall to pee behind bushes to do our business - all in all made the experience exciting.  Note to self: There is NO cool way to recover from being caught with your pants down doing a pee - just smile and wave.


The bands, oh my gawsh! Where do I start with the bands!!!! SOUTH AFRICAN MUSIC TALENT BLOWS MY MIND! 
My highlights were:
1. Dan Patlansky - He just blew us away with his epicness so much so that everytime someone did something that was totally epic and out of the blue from then on we called it "Pulling a Dan Patlansky"
2. Famaz Attak - Namibian band that we literally werent interested in all we wanted to do was by our chips on sticks at the food stand so we watched them as we waited in the que, thank god we did cos they were amazeballs! Their version of Drummer Boy - Epic!
3. Not My Dog - Who doesnt like nu-metal! Head banged my head off! Neck is still sore must make date with that hot Chiropractor.  
4. Dance your on fire - Boxes of Tigers - nice little tune, I may have been a bit drunked at the time but epic moment when the guy who bought the stuffed tiger saw a guy with a cardboard box and they ran for each to make "Boxes of Tigers" 
That was my top 4 but there were amazing bands, Die Antwoord, Fuzigish, Only when it rains, The Black hotels, Van Coke Kartel - to name but a few


If you havent gone to Oppi - you have to go, my weekend was amazeballs, the men are beautiful, the people are friendly, the tequila flows, the dust is a plenty and it all comes together in one big ball of awesomness!
Do it! 

Why some things should be sold with instructions....

Remember that one time you went to the beach and you were like "OMG its like totally supposed to look like this..... Me either!"

Back to school

Back to college I go.  It seems cooler saying school.  I did think this when I was actually still in school.


First day back:
First lecture - Financial Management
I'M SCREWED! 
No I'm not screwed but I needed the drama!  


6 months left until I am a participant in the economy - I am yet to figure out which economy in the world but an economy none the less.  I am hoping America, who doesn't want the American dream?  Except in my American dream I don't have to do my own laundry and make my own bed and iron stuff.  So to round stuff up.  I'm nearly finished studying.  I want to move to America, and I want my maid to come with.

Google+

So I have officially joined Google+ 

I feel as if Google is the ONLY social networking site to "get me" so far, yes I whore myself on Twitter and Facebook and I will admit I am the FIRST person to Face creep friends Facebook pages and write inappropriate things on Twitter but now, now I can decide WHO I want to see them.  


This is a break through. 


I can have my boss on Google and post drunken pics on the same platform and he wont see them! I can follow people who inspire me (Already searched Steve Jobs) and basically make sure that I have he power to decide with whom I want to share all the knowledge I drop.


I am still yet to get a total hang of Google+ but so far.... Me Likey! 

5 most irritating things about twitter

1.  People who retweet there EVERY mention


2.  People who retweet their Follow Friday Mentions


3.  Spam Bots - No I do not need viagra or penis enlargement at a discounted price thank you very much


4.  Team Follow Back - I must admit when I FIRST signed up for twitter I did this to get followers and "get the ball rolling" now I see a #TeamFollowBack and I wanna jump into my phone and throttle the person doing it. (P.s if you are new to Twitter then I understand)


5.  Trending Topics where there is a spelling mistake e.g. Far Eat Movement is currently trending.... its Far EAST Movement - you are all flipping dumb/dyslexic

Im growing up..... SIKE!

I haven't done a blog in quite some time.... Neglecting a blog is like what number ONE on the blogging not to do list?  Naughty Punky!

So, I have had a rather "chilled weekend" - I am saving myself for Oppikoppi which is closer than I thought.  Note to self: Must go to gym. Must buy booze. Must makes lists. Must service car.  Must find a tent and or a willing gentleman who doesn't hog the blankets. 

In my attempt to be "chilled" I did the following this weekend:

Friday:

Went to a grown up dinner party (or stew night cos well you know how cold Johannesburg has been - and who wants to braai outside?):  Said stew night when first suggested was agreed to hesitantly but I'm glad I went, I got to meet new people and get to know old friends better.  The stew wasn't good, but it was a god effort and the conversation and laughs around the dinner table made up for it.  Note to self:  Lay  off the wine Punky.  Headache from Hell.

Saturday:

Movie night in with the Starfish.  Watched the 8o'clock movie on DSTV.  Did face masks.  Gossiped and found out what was number one on the Indie Charts on VH1 (P.S I refuse to watch VH1 I am STILL too young to be there target demographic - VH1 was a choice of one of the starfish)

Sunday:

I was having the most lazy or lazy days.... I woke up, looked at the clock it said 10 so NATURALLY I rolled over and went back to bed, when I next woke up it was 12.45. *shocked face* So in fear of being paralyzed from being in bed for too long, I decided to go to Monte with Crippled Starfish (who just had pins taken out of her broken leg) to watch Bridesmaids.  BRILLIANT movie! I laughed the WHOLE way through and didn't loose concentration once (Which is amazing considering I have the concentration of a 5yr old with ADHD).  I suggest you all get off your cute butts and head to your local cinema right meow to go and watch it if you are keen for a few laughs.