So its Saturday evening, 11:23pm and I just got home from an unexpected evening of fun.
It was supposed to be just me and a lone the starfish watching chick flicks but 2 bottles of wine later turned into discussions about the meaning of life, why men are so impressed with their genitalia, how Kim Kardashian can actually think her marriage is going to work out, why Sarah Jessica Parker hasn't realised she looks like a horse and how people who drive cars are basically saying "Hey, Look at me, I'm an asshole!". Basically a discussion of all the IMPORTANT things in life.
We came to the conclusion that there are 5 different types of drunks:
1. The cocky drinker -You all know one of these people. This is the guy who says "I can drink a whole bottle of that stuff man and be FINE!". Its not something to be proud of loser, no one is going to look back at your life one day and be like "That *Insert relevant name here*, what a losse he could really knock back the Vodka". You think your cocky but really you just end up looking like this:
It was supposed to be just me and a lone the starfish watching chick flicks but 2 bottles of wine later turned into discussions about the meaning of life, why men are so impressed with their genitalia, how Kim Kardashian can actually think her marriage is going to work out, why Sarah Jessica Parker hasn't realised she looks like a horse and how people who drive cars are basically saying "Hey, Look at me, I'm an asshole!". Basically a discussion of all the IMPORTANT things in life.
We came to the conclusion that there are 5 different types of drunks:
1. The cocky drinker -You all know one of these people. This is the guy who says "I can drink a whole bottle of that stuff man and be FINE!". Its not something to be proud of loser, no one is going to look back at your life one day and be like "That *Insert relevant name here*, what a losse he could really knock back the Vodka". You think your cocky but really you just end up looking like this:
2. The Emotional Drunk - Oh look, I have had 2 shots and all of a sudden I love/hate everyone and I want to cry cos I just cant deal with my emotions.
Phase 2 of the emotional drunk is they get clingy and want to hang on you all the time and hug you and everyone is all like "Yo, Personal space? Ever heard of it? Well your in mine, get out"
3. The Violent Drunk - We try to stay away from this kind although if they are your friend no matter how hard you try you always some how get involved in some form of confrontation. Solution? Make him/her designated driver, there is no other way.
4. The "I got full retard after one drink" Drunk - These happy go lucky, dance on tables, life of the party people, live in the moment people are great when the all alcohol limits are exceeded, however if happen to bump into them in the daylight without a drop of alcohol in them could barely maintain eye contact with you let alone hold a conversation. Note to these people, in the words of Tropic Thunder "You NEVER go full retard"
5. The "WTF happened last night I don't remember a thing" drunk - Rock up at a club with all your starfish for a night on the town together,then they disappear and much like a Wild Dog they are not easily spotted again, yet when they do show up its wither passed out on a couch in the club/bar or about to pass out. They then wake up in the morning with all their friends slightly pissed off at them for ditching their fun filled night out together only to mumble "Duuuude, like WTF happened last night?"
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