Kings of Leon Concert (29/10/2011)

7 months ago the news that Kings of Leon would be coming to South Africa was all anyone was talking about - then they cancelled coming in March as Nathan Followill tore a muscle in his bicep.  Well it was worth the wait.  And 7 months later I am now officially experiencing post Kings of Leon depression.  I want to be back there right now! 

I was also blown away by The Shadow Club a fairly new band on the South African music scene, best known for there song "Guns & Money"  - I was pleasantly surprised by there act and found myself quite upset when there set finished! I felt it was way too short, they were far better than the other acts The Black Hotels and Die Heuwels Fantasties.  I actually have absolutely NO idea why Die Heuwels Fantasties was even one the the bands selected to be KOL's opening act, firstly not everyone speaks Afrikaans and their performance was distinctly average.  The Shadow Club is a definite must see, they were amazeballs!  

I dont think I could pick a favourite song from KOL's set list as  all the songs were perfectly performed from beginning to end - However there were the obvious favourites (Their most popular songs) such as "Your Sex is on Fire", "Use Somebody", "Notion" and "Knocked Up" to name a few.  I did have a giggle though as just before Caleb Followill played Sex on Fire he said, 'Here is a little song, you all  probably have heard it before, if you haven't well then.... Lucky you' - I'm assuming every interview, concert, radio, fan asks them about that song! Funny. I would ask them if the rumors that it is about an STD are true.  

The concert was amazing and I the firework display looking over 10 000 screaming fans at the top of Soccer City as I was walking out is an image and a moment that will stay with me and 10 000 other Kings of Leon's fans for a very long time.  

All in all.  Amazing Concert.  Amazing time.  

Converse Halloween Block Party

I must admit I haven't frequented Newtown as much as I would like to - I have been to The Woods once actually if we want to get specific.  So when I RSVP'd 'Attending' to the Halloween Block Party I was expecting something quite different to what it turned out to be! 


Converse gave away 1000 free double ticket (We love Converse - Its one of my Favourite brands - I love everything they stand for) I was firstly surprised by how all out everyone went for Halloween.  I went as a policeman (And made some interesting arrests I might add - note to all, "I'm going to have to Book You Sir" works wonders ladies), my starfish went as Little Bo Beep and the others were "Too Cool to Dress up" (LAME) 


I was very impressed with the effort and simple ideas that Converse used to ensure that the block part was a huge success.  Firstly the roller girls, rolling around in roller skates and doing tricks rocked my world (Thank god they werent drinking that could have gotten dangerous) then there was acts preforming dance and circus trips, and then the FREE STUFF!!!! Who doesnt like free stuff?  


There were something like 5 stages (I dont remember exactly ok.... My memory is blurry) I do however remember flicking alot of hoof at the Dubstep stage looking like a druggy with too much energy.  I then wondered over to where the bands were playing, making friends with The Blue man Group on the way and arresting a Pirate (Productive evening) I then watched a band called "The Stella's' (I Think) and then "Desmond and the Tutu's" who dressed up at The Hives for Halloween - From here things get blurry as I then discovered the Jager truck..... 


I got home with minimal bruises and no flash backs of drunken happenings that will haunt me forever. So all in all. Block party HUGE success well done Converse.  

Exams are over.... What now?

Due to being a diligent student I have currently been ignoring my blog (I haven't been ignoring my Twitter tho - I may be a Twitter addict) 


So in the run up to my FINAL exams (depending on marks) I took of two months to "Study" so that means two months of no going out, no socializing and basically hermit like behaviour, upside? Bar ONE exam (Management Accounting) I am feeling pretty confident in passing the others in my usual "Straight C Student" manor..... 


My final exam finished at 5pm on the recorded hottest day of the year and by 6pm I was throwing back my second glass of wine and ordering the "The strongest cocktail you have please"


Now the real partying starts.  I will be throwing my name away.  if any of you come in direct contact with me..... I apologize for my behaviour in advance.  


The weekend after exams goes as follows (P.S. I may love the guy who scheduled my exams because I have the most epic weekend FULL of events in front of me)

HALLOWEEN BLOCK PARTY IN NEWTOWN

The line up is SICK! Like sicker than you day after eating bad fish.  

it goes as follows:

Line Up:   Converse Main Stage (Outdoor) Sibot DJ Zakes Mr Sakitumi Black Sheep Tommy Gun Twitter Mc Battle   Griet Stage (Carfax) Stereoheroes (France) Haezer Niskerone Bteam I Am Noize   Band Stage (Town Hall) Desmond & The Tutus Bittereinder Shortstraw The Stellas Tommy Gun   Young Blood Stage Crossman & Phizicist Sexual Dinasour Ft. Gang Lone Wolf Twelve Vs Sqew Hypomaniacs  Android

I am dressing up a a police woman and I plan to make some arrests.


That's on Friday!  Then on Saturday.

KINGS OF LEON LIVE IN SOUTH AFRICA  

I will be front and central listening to sounds of these sexy man beasts on Saturday night.... 

Their album has had rave reviews, one reviewer even went as far as to say "Come Around Sundown makes you believe in rock and roll again...." 

My. Heart. Cannot. Take. The. Excitement!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And THAT ladies and gents is how one breaks back into society once again!

Buddha Ta Bullshit

Last night I was invited to a friends birthday at Buddha Ta in the Design Quarter for a bit of drinking and dancing.... Little did I know there would be less drinking (it took 15mins to get served in our booth and a further 30 mins for our drinks to then arrive) and more dancing.  Considering my night out usually revolves around the latter this is naturally problematic.  


I really have NO idea why people genuinely LIKE Buddha Ta?  Someone please explain this to me?  OK, so it looks pretty! I too have gawked at the huge Buddha statue, giggled at the ringing of the gong and jotted down the Buddha quotes on the wall to tweet at a later date.... The crowd of people are pretentious as a twitter friend pointed out (but that we all were already aware of), the drinks are horrifically expensive (if you ever get them) and the food although semi edible comes in servings fitting of a anorexic (you literally need to go to MacDonald's down the road afterwards cos guaranteed you will STILL be hungry), the music is kinda cool, but any music can be kind cool.  


The only WOW factor Buddha Ta has is the Buddha Statue inside, oh and the Candy Mojito (That comes in a Martini glass and I finished in 3 sips - most expensive 3 sips of my life) that tastes pretty amaze - but then again any drink tastes amaze after you have waited 45mins to get it.  


Throw that all together with the fact that previously when I had gone to Buddha Ta it was for my starfish's dinner birthday they said that they could not cater for a 18person table (after seating us next to a table for 16 people) and split our dinner party up into two tables of 9.  pray tell, how the HELL do you have a dinner party one TWO SEPARATE TABLES??????? complete and utter bullshit I tell you. 


To round up.  I do not like Buddha Ta.  At all.  I mean I dedicated a blog post to it.  


That's all the ranting I have for today.


Punky out.  

I'm a ray of f**king positiveness

Surprise Surprise bitches and gentlemen..... My Visa is expiring


That gives me roughly as of today 20 days left in Sunny South Africa - I am still trying to extend my visa (And being f**king positive about being able to do it) 


However their is NEVER a wall that is too high to climb, throw my a hoop, and I hula hoop the s**t out of it (My Mother is going to kill me if she ever ready this for swearing - hence the **'s) 


So for now I'm trying not to think about it until I go to Home Affairs once again and some uneducated f**k who really has no idea what is going on tells that all hope is lost! 


In other news - Today is my last day of being 23. Tomorrow I turn 24 and have decided that no I will in fact not be growing up!


Ex Oh Ex Oh
Punky

10 hottest Rugby Players I have ever seen - in no particular order

The World cup is fast approaching and if your not that keen on Rugby, here are 10 reasons you SHOULD be

Alexis Palisson (France) - That's it I am moving to France

Francois Steyn (South Africa) - I would. Twice

Dan Carter (New Zealand) - he's playing with a soccer ball don't let that confuse you

Sean Lamont (Scotland) - Obviously done some modelling, can I blame him. One word. YUMMY!

Andrew Trimble (Ireland) - add a super cute accent to this one Ladies and he is defo a Winner

Frederic Michalak (France) - OhMyEfGeeeeeeeee!!!!

Juan Martin Hernandez (Argentina) - Ooooooooh Makes me LOCO!

Morne Steyn (South Africa) - DA-LEEEEE-CIOUS!

Clement Poitrenaud (France) - The only answer to any question this gents asks will be "Oui!"

Big Jim Hamilton (Scotland) - Tall, Tanned, Tattooed. 3T's = YES PLEASE!

And thats it ladies - My vote for top 10 hottest rugby players.  
I'm going to go take a cold shower now and cool down. Lord knows I need it
Punky Out

5 types of drunks

So its Saturday evening, 11:23pm and I just got home from an unexpected evening of fun.


It was supposed to be just me and a lone the starfish watching chick flicks but 2 bottles of wine later turned into discussions about the meaning of life, why men are so impressed with their genitalia, how Kim Kardashian can actually think her marriage is going to work out, why Sarah Jessica Parker hasn't realised she looks like a horse and how people who drive cars are basically saying "Hey, Look at me, I'm an asshole!".  Basically a discussion of all the IMPORTANT things in life.  


We came to the conclusion that there are 5 different types of drunks:


1. The cocky drinker -You all know one of these people.  This is the guy who says "I can drink a whole bottle of that stuff man and be FINE!".  Its not something to be proud of loser, no one is going to look back at your life one day and be like "That *Insert relevant name here*, what a losse he could really knock back the Vodka".  You think your cocky but really you just end up looking like this:

2.  The Emotional Drunk - Oh look, I have had 2 shots and all of a sudden I love/hate everyone and I want to cry cos I just cant deal with my emotions.

Phase 2 of the emotional drunk is they get clingy and want to hang on you all the time and hug you and everyone is all like "Yo, Personal space? Ever heard of it? Well your in mine, get out" 

3.  The Violent Drunk - We try to stay away from this kind although if they are your friend no matter how hard you try you always some how get involved in some form of confrontation.  Solution?  Make him/her designated driver, there is no other way.  

4.  The "I got full retard after one drink" Drunk - These happy go lucky, dance on tables, life of the party people, live in the moment people are great when the all alcohol limits are exceeded, however if happen to bump into them in the daylight without a drop of alcohol in them could barely maintain eye contact with you let alone hold a conversation.  Note to these people, in the words of Tropic Thunder "You NEVER go full retard"

5.  The "WTF happened last night I don't remember a thing" drunk - Rock up at a club with all your starfish for a night on the town together,then they disappear and much like a Wild Dog they are not easily spotted again, yet when they do show up its wither passed out on a couch in the club/bar or about to pass out.  They then wake up in the morning with all their friends slightly pissed off at them for ditching their fun filled night out together only to mumble "Duuuude, like WTF happened last night?" 

Hey Home Affairs *pulls middle finger*

So South Africa doesn't want Punky and Zimbabwe isn't too keen on having Punky either due to our President being such a *Insert appropriate word/words here*


I have spent the last 2 days trying (with no-avail) to extend my 90 day holiday permit in South Africa till December when I will be moving back to Zimbabwe - and then starting to plan my gap year travels.  
The thing that irritates me the most about this whole thing is NO ONE will issue me a visa - AND I AM SOUTH AFRICAN BY DESCENT! My Mom has a South African passport for gods sake.  


This is a taste the kind of dumb mentality I have had to deal with in South African home affairs lately:

Every year.... Like its a surprise

So, for all of those not living in Johannesburg you luckily haven't been subjected to the continuous bitching of Jo-Burgs about the weather the past few days (Unless your on twitter where you, like me, may have un-followed a few people recently).  I have a few things to say about this

First and foremost.  Its winter. It gets cold. Shocked? I know! It only happens every year around this time. Buy a heater and a cute jacket and drink a cup full of STFU, this is something you cannot change. 


Secondly, there is always a COLD spell in Winter. It is cold all the time but at some point it gets colder and snow is expected.  Once again. STFU! This happens every year it really should not be a huge surprise by now.  


Just be happy this isn't happening in Jozi:

You know what is surprising?  When it rains fish.  You can talk all you want it it rains fish.  


Otherwise, EVERYONE knows its cold, there is no need to inform other people about it like it is some huge surprise.  

Oppikoppi: Unknown Brother

A friend of mine said to me "You haven't lived till you have been to an Oppi dude" - Right there and then I decided that after wanting to go for the 5yrs that I have lived in South Africa that 2011 was the year.... I am going to OPPIKOPPI!


I was armed with the following 'insider scoop" from previous Oppikoppi goes, make sure you take a. Water b. Wet Wipes c. Blankets (it gets VERY cold) d. A sense of humour
Armed with all the above and a monsterous planning session it was decided - I was going to Oppi and I was taking my sibling unit with me and my "almost sisters" the Starfritzls.  Zimbabweans were taking over Oppikoppi! 


The Starfritzls had driven to Oppikoppi from Zimbabwe with our camping supplies, tent, food, vodka you know the necessities on the Thursday and my sibling unit who had arrived in Johannesburg 3 days earlier and myself drove from Jozi to Oppikoppi - possibly one of the smartest ideas I have ever had to come a day later as the Starfritzls had set up camp by the time we arrived on Friday morning.  
So there we were 5 girls camping in District 9 between two campsites called "Fokken Prawn" and "Bulletproof Marchmallows" - Good god what had we got ourselves into.




When people say "Oppikoppi is dusty" dont think "Well my car is also dusty after a week without a wash" instead think "I AM GOING TO COUGH UP MUD FOR THE NEXT WEEK! IF NOT DIE FROM THE BLACK LUNG!" - I have never in my life experienced dust like there was at Oppikoppi - Our campsite which was conveniently just off the main drag "Boom Straat" was covered in dust in hours, my poor little car changed colour from green to dirty dust red in the space of 3 hours! (The Wet Wipes come in handy here)


The toilets/showers are disgusting and being the snobs we starfish are we resorted to either driving to Northam during the day, "Holding it" or waiting till night fall to pee behind bushes to do our business - all in all made the experience exciting.  Note to self: There is NO cool way to recover from being caught with your pants down doing a pee - just smile and wave.


The bands, oh my gawsh! Where do I start with the bands!!!! SOUTH AFRICAN MUSIC TALENT BLOWS MY MIND! 
My highlights were:
1. Dan Patlansky - He just blew us away with his epicness so much so that everytime someone did something that was totally epic and out of the blue from then on we called it "Pulling a Dan Patlansky"
2. Famaz Attak - Namibian band that we literally werent interested in all we wanted to do was by our chips on sticks at the food stand so we watched them as we waited in the que, thank god we did cos they were amazeballs! Their version of Drummer Boy - Epic!
3. Not My Dog - Who doesnt like nu-metal! Head banged my head off! Neck is still sore must make date with that hot Chiropractor.  
4. Dance your on fire - Boxes of Tigers - nice little tune, I may have been a bit drunked at the time but epic moment when the guy who bought the stuffed tiger saw a guy with a cardboard box and they ran for each to make "Boxes of Tigers" 
That was my top 4 but there were amazing bands, Die Antwoord, Fuzigish, Only when it rains, The Black hotels, Van Coke Kartel - to name but a few


If you havent gone to Oppi - you have to go, my weekend was amazeballs, the men are beautiful, the people are friendly, the tequila flows, the dust is a plenty and it all comes together in one big ball of awesomness!
Do it! 

Why some things should be sold with instructions....

Remember that one time you went to the beach and you were like "OMG its like totally supposed to look like this..... Me either!"

Back to school

Back to college I go.  It seems cooler saying school.  I did think this when I was actually still in school.


First day back:
First lecture - Financial Management
I'M SCREWED! 
No I'm not screwed but I needed the drama!  


6 months left until I am a participant in the economy - I am yet to figure out which economy in the world but an economy none the less.  I am hoping America, who doesn't want the American dream?  Except in my American dream I don't have to do my own laundry and make my own bed and iron stuff.  So to round stuff up.  I'm nearly finished studying.  I want to move to America, and I want my maid to come with.

Google+

So I have officially joined Google+ 

I feel as if Google is the ONLY social networking site to "get me" so far, yes I whore myself on Twitter and Facebook and I will admit I am the FIRST person to Face creep friends Facebook pages and write inappropriate things on Twitter but now, now I can decide WHO I want to see them.  


This is a break through. 


I can have my boss on Google and post drunken pics on the same platform and he wont see them! I can follow people who inspire me (Already searched Steve Jobs) and basically make sure that I have he power to decide with whom I want to share all the knowledge I drop.


I am still yet to get a total hang of Google+ but so far.... Me Likey! 

5 most irritating things about twitter

1.  People who retweet there EVERY mention


2.  People who retweet their Follow Friday Mentions


3.  Spam Bots - No I do not need viagra or penis enlargement at a discounted price thank you very much


4.  Team Follow Back - I must admit when I FIRST signed up for twitter I did this to get followers and "get the ball rolling" now I see a #TeamFollowBack and I wanna jump into my phone and throttle the person doing it. (P.s if you are new to Twitter then I understand)


5.  Trending Topics where there is a spelling mistake e.g. Far Eat Movement is currently trending.... its Far EAST Movement - you are all flipping dumb/dyslexic

Im growing up..... SIKE!

I haven't done a blog in quite some time.... Neglecting a blog is like what number ONE on the blogging not to do list?  Naughty Punky!

So, I have had a rather "chilled weekend" - I am saving myself for Oppikoppi which is closer than I thought.  Note to self: Must go to gym. Must buy booze. Must makes lists. Must service car.  Must find a tent and or a willing gentleman who doesn't hog the blankets. 

In my attempt to be "chilled" I did the following this weekend:

Friday:

Went to a grown up dinner party (or stew night cos well you know how cold Johannesburg has been - and who wants to braai outside?):  Said stew night when first suggested was agreed to hesitantly but I'm glad I went, I got to meet new people and get to know old friends better.  The stew wasn't good, but it was a god effort and the conversation and laughs around the dinner table made up for it.  Note to self:  Lay  off the wine Punky.  Headache from Hell.

Saturday:

Movie night in with the Starfish.  Watched the 8o'clock movie on DSTV.  Did face masks.  Gossiped and found out what was number one on the Indie Charts on VH1 (P.S I refuse to watch VH1 I am STILL too young to be there target demographic - VH1 was a choice of one of the starfish)

Sunday:

I was having the most lazy or lazy days.... I woke up, looked at the clock it said 10 so NATURALLY I rolled over and went back to bed, when I next woke up it was 12.45. *shocked face* So in fear of being paralyzed from being in bed for too long, I decided to go to Monte with Crippled Starfish (who just had pins taken out of her broken leg) to watch Bridesmaids.  BRILLIANT movie! I laughed the WHOLE way through and didn't loose concentration once (Which is amazing considering I have the concentration of a 5yr old with ADHD).  I suggest you all get off your cute butts and head to your local cinema right meow to go and watch it if you are keen for a few laughs.  

Braai Days

There are few things more precious than family and friends – before you think I am going to go and get all sentimental on you, if is even better when friends and family join you for a day of drinking cleverly disguised as a braai or barbeque (depending on where you are from in the world) – Good food, booze on tap and gossip and laughs all round. Is this not the most perfect way to spend a Sunday?

I always worry about organising an “event” or “get together” – I blame my second term of Grade 1 when I planned to over throw the Grade 2’s who were controlling the Jungle Gym.  Nothing worse than thinking you have 25 5yr olds standing behind you as you march over to face the BIGGEST Grade 2’s the world has ever seen only to turn around and realise “Yup, they didn’t follow “ and “You’re going to die” I thus have never organised a “get together”.  The “Bail out” of 1993 shall forever haunt me.  Punky Fun Fact #1 – I am petrified of Jungle Gyms. 

I mean I organise things, in that I suggest the idea and then make someone else think it was their own idea and they then implement my suggested idea thinking it was their own.  It’s a win-win situation really.  I am a master manipulator when it comes to this. First you have to “Plant the idea”.  It goes something like this:

Punky to Starfish: I haven’t been to a braai in ages, do people still braai?

Starfish: I dunno, I haven’t been to one in ages

Punky:  I think its cos people don’t braai anymore except on like “National Braai Day”

Starfish: Maybe I should have a braai?

Punky: Yes. Yes, you should *evil laugh*

Did you see what just happened there?  Yes. I’m brilliant.  I know. 

So I manipulated my sibling unit into throwing a Lil’ Braai thing – just casual you know.  Few  friends.  No strippers. Casual. 

Got Meat?

You know what is great about not throwing a braai that you actually got someone to throw? There is no stress.  No worrying that the potato salad isn’t going to be just right, no worrying if there are enough chairs, that the weather is going to play along and that there will be enough parking, no worrying that Starfish 3 hooked up with Starfish 5’s boyfriend 4yrs ago and they still aren’t talking and you have mistakenly invited them both (You laugh – this is a SERIOUS problem but the Girl Code is for a WHOLE new blog altogether).  All Punky has to do is make sure of is that there is music to satisfy everyone’s taste (Problematic as I seem to be the ONLY Zimbabwean who listens to copious amounts of Dead Metal and Rock and I do not think any of my Starfish got the memo about how cool guitars are and the bands that use them to make music), however I have made a playlist on iTunes called “Music for the Masses” and it seems to have gone down quite a treat.  So the braai I wanted to be thrown is someone else’s responsibility and all I have to worry about is that should there be any awkward silences between Starfish 3 & 5 there is adequate background music to fill the black hole.   Like I said before, Win-Win Situation. 

Now I don’t know how I came to know these beautiful creatures I get to call my Starfish but know them I do and crazy do they get. 

Small get together and all in all the following food and beverages were bought and for the most part consumed among 12 people:

3 kg’s of Steak

1kg of Chicken pieces

1 large pot of Sadza or “Pap” for the Non-Zimbabweans

5 packets of rolls

1 large bowl of Salad

1 large bowl of potato salad

1 large bowl of 3 bean salad

Then the good stuff:

6 six packs of Savannah dry

3 six packs of Savannah light

1 crate of Castle Lager

4 bottles of wine

5 six packs of Amstel Lager

and

2 six packs of Storm

I must admit, I am shocked at how little we have for left over’s for the rest of the week – Looks like I’m going to have to re-stock my bar and cellar and look forward to the next braai some else decides to throw.  I. Can. Not. Wait.

What to do next Sunday?  Know what I haven’t done in a while?  Had a picnic, do people still picnic? *Hint Hint* 

Stuck in the 3rd World

So as of late I have been neglecting my blog quite a bit..... The ONLY reason for this is being trapped in the back of beyond with little to no internet access at time (I know alot of people cannot relate to this but try to visualize the discomfort this would bring to your lives)
I have however had no shortage of debacherous stories to share with you all.
Let me begin shall I? *Ahem*
So as we all know my home country of Zimbabwe has in the past suffered from a rather "rough" existence.... Let this not fool you into thinking there is a lack of things to do or Night Clubs with poles to dance on.
I may add on Friday night (after my Last exam) things got a little out of control at 2 of Zimbabwe's finest bars/clubs.
 Two clubs! I Know I Cant Believe It Either! (They don't have Caramel Vodka - beggars cant be choosers in Zimbabwe "any thing that does the job alcohol wise" will do - I'm pretty sure I have drunk petrol disguised as Vodka before but that is another story for another day)
After my BFF Starfish threw a little "Punky has finished exams and can now drink like a fish" party in my honour I arrived at Tin Roof and managed "have my A game" some how.  You know what I love about Zim guys? You DONT have to talk to them for 3 hours and suggest marriage just to get them to buy you a drink or give you their space at the bar or open your car door.  There is one thing I cannot  deny Zimbabwean boys are gentlemen.  Always have been, always will be.  Chivalry is not dead boys - don't act like it is.  I dont remember much due to the copious amounts of Patron I swallowed - I am NOT cheating on my beloved Caramel Vodka (CV will always hold my heart - We are just on a "break")
We then some how ended up at Axiom - I do not remember much from then on but I'm pretty sure I licked some gentleman's bicep in appreciation for his "Puppies" I am pretty sure I then asked him if he would like me to take him to the local vet for a check up cos his puppies were so sick.  HAVE I NO SHAME?
All in all.  I shamed myself and had a ball swimming with the big fish in a very little pond.  Mama Starfish and Papa Starfish would be so proud. Not.
Peace Punky Out

Apparently some people can't "Forgive and Forget"

For those of you who don’t know about the Zimbabwean land reform program:

10ish years ago (I forget the year – I was little ok, gimme a break) the Zimbabwean Government decided to enforce something called “The Land Reform Programme”  I’m not going to go into the detail of what the land reform program entails or how it treated the farmers that were forcibly and violently removed   of their land. 

I felt that with all the studying and diligent student activities I have been participating in recently I would instead of watching Jersey Shore Re-Runs, Jerseylicious, or any trashy E! Entertainment programmes go for a walk around the farm.  So I head out.  I decide to do about 5kms and head up to the top land that boarders with “The War Veterans land” (I put it in inverted commas because it is actually OUR farm but it just got stolen from us and is now his).  So there I am with my iPod on (I am scared of bushes that make noise – hence the iPod instead of enjoying nature) and I see the War Veteran out with his family ploughing his lands.  Oh and also crops are supposed to be put in in November and reaped in May obviously he is a thief and an idiot who doesn’t know how to farm. Back to the War Vet. They are all staring at me so I made a decision to way and shout “HELLO! HOW ARE YOU?” to which he replied to with giving me the bird and shouting “BURIYAKO”.  For those of you who don’t speak Shona, saying Buriyako to someone is the harshest form of abuse or swearing you can say to someone it’s like shouting “EF YOU” at someone times like a million. 

I don’t know why that jerk faced idiot yelled Buriyako at me but surely if ANYONE should still be angry it should be me?  This is the same prick who along with his gang of War Vets attacked our house (when I was all of say 13yrs old) when my sister and I were fast asleep inside with neither of our parents in the house and then held us captive for hours and then set fire to our house so we couldn’t escape, luckily we managed to get evacuated but if we hadn’t I doubt I would be here to write this blog.  AND HE IS STILL ANGRY? 

So much for forgive and forget. 

Johannesburg to Harare

Any drive over 2 hours is never pleasant.  Maybe if I drove a Ferrari or an Aston Martin driving long distances would be a pleasure, I don’t know?  (If anyone wants to lend me, or give me a Ferrari or Aston Martin now would be the time to step up, just saying).

 Punky gets car sick. I have tried ALL the wives tales and hard drugs to try and fix this but the fact of the matter is no amount of sitting on newspaper to rubbing the pressure points on my wrist to popping pills will or has worked, however I am always willing to try new ones so if you have any motion sickness remedies, comment away or tweet at me and I’ll be the dummy who tries them out and lets you know how it goes.  That being said if I am not driving then my whole trip is a blur of nausea and trying to concentrate on not blowing chucks all over whoever is driving. 

My big sister is moving back to Zimbabwe from Cape Town we shall call her Punky Snr.  So my Dad drove down to Johannesburg from Zimbabwe to escort my sister and I home encase my sisters car broke down or anything on the drive home.  Little did we know the drive was the least of our problems – Beitbridge Boarder Post was!

Now I love my sister, she is my favourite person on the planet, but good gawd, i HATE her music taste.  She has to have been reincarnated , she has to the be only 26yr old I know who has EVERY Kenny Rogers Album and actually listens to country music not just the more commercial  likes of Taylor Swift, she listens to ALL of it.  1hr in and we have already had a fight over the choice of music.  I spent 3 hours the night before while EVERYONE was sleeping to compose the most AMAZING compilation of music to make our drive into the greatest road trip ever. I take music VERY seriously!  I had made sure there was a perfect mix of all our music preferences it went from Black Eyed Peas to John Mayer to Rise Against to 30 Seconds to Mars etc etc it was spectacular.  Punky was proud of her mix.  I really was!  3 songs in Punky Snr “WTF is this music, it’s so heavy I hope we aren’t listening to this the whole trip, when can I put MY music on”.  We were listening to 30 Seconds to Mars.  Heavy? Really? REALLY! I will not be listening to Kenny Rogers for the next 6 hours.  However I won and by the time I got to the Zimbabwe when my sisters took over control of the radio i changed cars and carried on jamming – I will NOT risk my ears bleeding.

So the Zimbabwe side of the Beitbridge boarder is a Pig Fest.  You literally arrive and your car gets swamped by agents who can to quote “Get you through immigration no problem boss, we do it quick quick”.  It is so bad that you actually start feeling scared.  There must have been around 15 men surrounding each of our cars trying to shove blue immigration forms into our faces.  However the queue to get into immigration is about 1km along so we thought “Hey we’ll pay more and get it done quickly without having to stand in the queue”.  How naive we were, they totally hit the mother load when they saw us coming.  We got conned, totally and utterly conned.  The guy disappeared with the roughly the equivalent of R5000 of our money to pay to get clearance etc.  Livid!  My parental unit nearly has a fit he was so angry and threatened everyone and anyone until the slimy little twit slithered out of the dark room, threw our cash at us and ran away faster than Usain Bolt with my father chasing after him.   Viva Dad Viva!

And that was our welcome to Zimbabwe.  God.  Nothing like being home huh?  5 minutes in the country and someone has already asked for a bribe and tried to steal for us.  You all really MUST come on holiday its fantastic.  Note the sarcasm

I put all my eggs in ONE basket this weekend

There is one weekend every year that leaves you with U.D.I's (Unidentified Drinking Injuries), Flashbacks, New Slang, Black holes  and the obvious regret of things that cannot be undone.
This however was not me this Easter weekend.... Punky has given up drinking.


I can feel you all rolling your eyes and thinking "Pssssss! This is going to last all of 10 seconds"
But unlike the time I decided to become a pro-skateboarder this shall be less painful and I may stick to it for a a little while - or at least until exams are over 


So since I cant dish the dirt on myself I shall do the ne xt best thing and dish out the dirt on my  starfish


B.F.F Starfish happened to in the course of one weekend do the following things:
1.  Suck face a.k.a Graze a non-English speaking gent in Clapham Gold after all of 5 minutes of dancing in the same vicinity as him.  Legendary.
2.  Become a fan of Caramel Vodka - I know I am too proud for words
3.  Break a heel
4.  Run away from said non-English speaking gent
5.  Make me "save her" once again from non-English speaking gent  (I didn't get the Memo but apparently kissing an Afrikaans man in a club now means you are married to them - heads up ladies)


All in all the weekend got a little out of hand
Zimbabweans set loose on Johannesburg Season 1 - Coming soon to a cinema near you

Leaving the country for an indefinite period of time

So my luck has finally ended...


Zimbabwe or rather South Africa has decided that Zimbabweans are only allowed a total of 90 days in this beautiful country.  


That being said my 90 days expires on the 29th of this month.  So in an attempt to stay legal I am leaving South Africa.   Hopefully I will be back (Like Arnie) 


So my blog posts may be neglected for a while due to being stuck in the 3rd world a.k.a Zimbabwe.  


It kinds sucks when you OWN country doesn't want you (Need I remind you of Mugabe had his hatred for white people and especially farmers - of which I fall into both categories) and the country that you try to make your home tells you it doesn't want you either - I feel like a fish that keeps on being caught and released into the ocean (obviously I am less chuffed than said fish) 


No twitter. No BBM. No internet access on your phone.  No WhatsApp.  No LIFE!

Some of my favourite tunes

So I was going through my iTunes and my "most played" songs and these are some of the beauties that I found, thought I would share SOME of what I listen to with all of ya'll 

I love these songs, I love A LOT of songs but since I cant have a list like 8 million songs long I tried to cut them down.  It was difficult but here goes in no particular order:

1. Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars

This song gives me chills and makes me happy and sad and wanna party and get drunk all at the same time.  Saying I love it is an understatement

2.  Dave Barnes - Until you 

The words to this song are magical - this is what EVERY girl would like when she hears her boyfriend has written her a song.  

"I need you now and forever to stay right here with me dont ever leave" 

Nicely done Dave, Nicely done.

3. Rise Against - Worth Dying for

I once met a person who said they didn't like Rise Against.  I promptly slapped them.  Thats all

4. Chamillionaire - Good Morning

Surprised.  Yeah I like my Hip-Hop too.  In high school I was a bit of a gangster (judge me not).  I like the little mash up they have going on in the beginning of the song.  I generally play this in the morning to put me in a good mood cos it just sounds happy.

5. Saving Jane - Girl Next Door

Who hasn't wanted to hit Heidi Klum?  That bitch has everything.  Well except a hot husband (Sorry Seal - but I like my men like I like my tea - WHITE)

6.  Jay Z - 99 Problems

I know all the words to this song.  I have a strange talent.  I can listen to a rap song I like ONCE and immediatly know all the words.  I wish I could do that hen it came to studying but I can't so that sucks.  I knew I should be a rapper. I got swag yo.

7. Metro Station - Disco

Happy Pop/Punk best danced to using your hair brush running around your room like your doing a show to Madison Square Garden (Pssssssssssh like you've NEVER done it) - Note the Hasian (Thats Hot Asian FYI) 

8.  Dashboard Confessional - Vindicated

Epic Band. Epic Song. Epic Movie.

Don't be a filthy illegal downloader - but go have a listen to them and let me know what you think :)