Its a Friday night and there are so many things to do in Johannesburg that I knew I would be able to get my slorey debauchery on somewhere.
Dance, your on fire was playing at Tanz Cafe - Punky LURVES Dance, your on fire. Who doesn't? If you haven't heard do your ears a favour and give them some sexy time and listen to them. If you don't like them... I'm not sure if you and I can be starfish.
So due to the vast majority of my starfish being of the jock variety it was rather hard to find someone to go with me to watch a band the reaction I got you would have thought I said "Hey people are dishing out free Herpes - Wanna go catch it?". However due to my awesomeness and manipulation starfish and I headed out to Tanz Cafe.
Tanz Cafe
Now since Dance, your on fire was playing I would have thought more people would go and watch them. Apparently not. We walked in and promptly walked out. I love watching bands but not when the average age is 45 and people are talking about politics and the best retirement villages in Jozi.
Tanz = Fail
So we decided to head to Privilege:
Privilege
For those of you who aren't in the "know" is the old Casablanca or Casa-wanka as I like to called it, which was previously known as Night Fever or Tight Beaver as it was better known due to the copious amount of loose underage woman. Can you tell I wasn't a fan?
So apparently it was Privilege's OPENING night. In other news, they need to hire a new PR agency. I think I may have been the oldest person in the club by about 4 yrs, I am pretty sure most of the men or rather boys in Privilege had only just hit puberty and where still waiting for hair to grow on their faces. At one point I was chatting to a man (I was tricked due to his facial hair - obviously he developed early) who turned out to be 17. Two words. Jail bait.
Caramel Vodka needed A.S.A.P!!!
Upside of Privilege - Everyone is underage so the bar is empty. Thank god for not being able to serve alcohol to minors. Result!
2 drinks and 4 Caramel Vodka shots down. Time. To. Get. Out. Of. Here
Its 11pm and we are in Fourways, yeah - To Billy the B.U.M.S it is.
Billy the B.U.M.S
Now for all you who don't know we personally. I have a crush. A HUGE crush. We fondly call him well lets just cal him "Man Meat" (he has a name but I refuse to call him by it). Charming isn't it. He is my Kryptonite and possibly the most confusing boy I have ever met in my life. I am infatuated by him, and this is possibly the ONLY reason I go to Billy the B.U.M.S to see my man meat. Sadly tonight he isn't here (Which is weird cos he is ALWAYS there - but anyways moving on).
I really don't understand Billy's, its either AMAZING and packed and full of people who are decent then on other nights (Like Friday night) it is full of people who not only got hit by the ugly tree but then took the initiative to grow the branch they got hit with - these people looked like they lived in caves and hadn't yet evolved.
On another note - Billy's waters down their Caramel Vodka (Cheap Bastards) it tastes more like Vodka and less like Caramel. -shudder-
Moving on and up... NOW!
To Stones we go:
Stones
Stones Fourways is pretty cool. They play very commercial dance music and the crowd is of the two-stepping variety but I have had enough alcohol by now to think that any place is the greatest place in the world. Result - bumping in more Starfish, this is our pool bitches lets dance the night away.
All in all, alot of bar hopping and debauchery. I missed Saturday lectures at Varsity. My life is obviously going down the tubes but its one HELL OF A RIDE!
Punky Out.
Dance, your on fire was playing at Tanz Cafe - Punky LURVES Dance, your on fire. Who doesn't? If you haven't heard do your ears a favour and give them some sexy time and listen to them. If you don't like them... I'm not sure if you and I can be starfish.
So due to the vast majority of my starfish being of the jock variety it was rather hard to find someone to go with me to watch a band the reaction I got you would have thought I said "Hey people are dishing out free Herpes - Wanna go catch it?". However due to my awesomeness and manipulation starfish and I headed out to Tanz Cafe.
Tanz Cafe
Now since Dance, your on fire was playing I would have thought more people would go and watch them. Apparently not. We walked in and promptly walked out. I love watching bands but not when the average age is 45 and people are talking about politics and the best retirement villages in Jozi.
Tanz = Fail
So we decided to head to Privilege:
Privilege
For those of you who aren't in the "know" is the old Casablanca or Casa-wanka as I like to called it, which was previously known as Night Fever or Tight Beaver as it was better known due to the copious amount of loose underage woman. Can you tell I wasn't a fan?
So apparently it was Privilege's OPENING night. In other news, they need to hire a new PR agency. I think I may have been the oldest person in the club by about 4 yrs, I am pretty sure most of the men or rather boys in Privilege had only just hit puberty and where still waiting for hair to grow on their faces. At one point I was chatting to a man (I was tricked due to his facial hair - obviously he developed early) who turned out to be 17. Two words. Jail bait.
Caramel Vodka needed A.S.A.P!!!
Upside of Privilege - Everyone is underage so the bar is empty. Thank god for not being able to serve alcohol to minors. Result!
2 drinks and 4 Caramel Vodka shots down. Time. To. Get. Out. Of. Here
Its 11pm and we are in Fourways, yeah - To Billy the B.U.M.S it is.
Billy the B.U.M.S
Now for all you who don't know we personally. I have a crush. A HUGE crush. We fondly call him well lets just cal him "Man Meat" (he has a name but I refuse to call him by it). Charming isn't it. He is my Kryptonite and possibly the most confusing boy I have ever met in my life. I am infatuated by him, and this is possibly the ONLY reason I go to Billy the B.U.M.S to see my man meat. Sadly tonight he isn't here (Which is weird cos he is ALWAYS there - but anyways moving on).
I really don't understand Billy's, its either AMAZING and packed and full of people who are decent then on other nights (Like Friday night) it is full of people who not only got hit by the ugly tree but then took the initiative to grow the branch they got hit with - these people looked like they lived in caves and hadn't yet evolved.
On another note - Billy's waters down their Caramel Vodka (Cheap Bastards) it tastes more like Vodka and less like Caramel. -shudder-
Moving on and up... NOW!
To Stones we go:
Stones
Stones Fourways is pretty cool. They play very commercial dance music and the crowd is of the two-stepping variety but I have had enough alcohol by now to think that any place is the greatest place in the world. Result - bumping in more Starfish, this is our pool bitches lets dance the night away.
All in all, alot of bar hopping and debauchery. I missed Saturday lectures at Varsity. My life is obviously going down the tubes but its one HELL OF A RIDE!
Punky Out.
Yoh! we NEED to party together!
ReplyDelete